Movies

I’m With Busey

Written by Josh Katz

For those of you who do not know me, your boy has full-blown insomnia. If I'm lucky, I'm able to haul in between 4-5 hours of sleep per night. Most people would argue that this is a debilitating problem for a 23-year-old, but I see it as a blessing for one simple reason: I get to view movies while the rest of the country lays to rest. No BS, The BEST movies are shown at 3am, and no perverts, I am not talking about the naughty ones. One random sleepless evening, I turned on Encore, the worst premium movie channel out of the 6,000 channels I have with digital cable. It has become a nightly ritual to tune in on a weeknight and find some god awful romantic comedy staring Freddie Prinze Junior or Jason Biggs, or if I am lucky, a hilariously unrealistic action movie staring Steven Segal or Jackie Chan.

Last week Moses must’ve been smiling down upon me, because I hit the jackpot. Point Break was on. This movie kills it for so many reasons. It’s got man’s man Keanu Reeves, the late Patrick Swayze and best of all, GARY BUSEY. At the time I wasn’t sure what was keeping me glued for the duration of the film, but it is now clear to me. Gary Busey is an American hero. I mean the Miller/Gold agency should try and land this guy. Just looking at his distorted face and uneven eyes is enough to illicit uncontrollable laughter and an inexplicably sickening interest in whatever he is doing. Busey has made a career of saying and doing outrageous things, making him popular amongst, well, anyone with a pulse. So I figured I’d do everyone a favor and discuss five moments in Busey’s career, portraying his undeniable versatility. Granted there are more than five, but I want to keep this short and sweet. You’ll thank me after, guaranteed.

I’m With Busey: A Gary Busey fan’s dream come true. Some random nerd and a camera crew followed the guy around while he performed simple everyday tasks. It was as if God shined his almighty light down upon Gary Busey for a half hour. Not to mention Busey would torture the portly host of the show. It was like hazing without pinecones and electrocution. Why this show went off the air we will never know. I still have not gotten over it, much like the Sopranos finale.
Point Break: A watershed moment in Busey’s career, playing a law enforcement officer (Angelo) and Keanu’s partner. The best part is when Busey is sitting in the car with Keanu ranting about meatball sandwiches, oranges and Calvin & Hobbes. “Utah, get me two.” This movie takes a depressing turn when Busey gets shot up at the airport. I have not cried this much since the end of Forrest Gump.
Predator 2: Busey the badass. Did anyone besides me notice how jacked this guy was in this movie? Made Arnold look like an anorexic prom queen. I’d like to see the Predator take on Busey without the Predator and all his crazy lasers and rockets and vanishing act. I’d take whatever is left in my embarrassing bank account and bet the farm on Busey, no questions asked.
Rookie of the Year: Chet Stedman? Unbelievable. He didn’t “do” autographs. He didn’t care what people thought about him. But he was a figurehead in the Cubs first World Series since 1908. He revived his career and the behest of Henry Rowengartner. And was there a more gutsy performance in a big game? Plus, the Dude’s nickname was ‘Rocket”, Clemens didn’t have shit on this guy. Plus this was John Candy’s masterpiece. The cinematography and editing techniques should have put this one up for an Oscar, and you can guess who would’ve won best actor.
Black Sheep: I am a firm believer that Busey was playing himself in this one. I mean he made Chris Farley seem mild. He played a militant ex-soldier, lived in a school bus in the woods and had a couch that smelled like urine. If that is not the life of Gary Busey, somebody please tell me what is. Drake Sabitch, war hero.

Think I missed something? Feel free to e-mail me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it with more moments in Busey history and we can add ‘em right here at the dose. Believe me, I have the time to read them.

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The Top 80 Movie Quotes of the Past 40 Years

Written by Ben Pogany

After much deliberation, here are Definitive Dose's picks for the 80 most memorable, iconic, and quotable movie quotes of the past forty years....

"Make him an offer he can't refuse."--The Godfather
"Life is like a box of chocolate; you never know what you're gonna get." --Forest Gump
"May the force be with you"--Star Wars
"I do wish we could chat longer, but... I'm having an old friend for dinner."--Silence of the Lambs
"The truth? You can't handle the truth!"--A Few Good Men
"Bond. James Bond"--James Bond
"Heeeere's Johnny!"--The Shining
"Say hello to my little friend!"--Scarface
"But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"--Dirty Harry
"If you have a milkshake and I have a milkshake and I have a straw and my straw reaches across the room and starts to drink your milkshake. I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!"--There Will Be Blood
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."--Apocalypse Now
"Yippee kay-ay motherfucker"--Die Hard
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."--Pulp Fiction
"Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'"--Shawshank Redemption
"Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N."--Dazed and Confused
"You lookin' at me?"--Taxi Driver
"Freeedooooom!!"--Braveheart
"I see dead people." --The Sixth Sense
"I'll be back." --Terminator
"What in the box?!!"--Se7en
"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone."--The Usual Suspects
"When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?"--The Departed
"Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell!!"--A Time to Kill
"Show me the money!"--Jerry Maguire
"What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?"--No Country For Old Men
"King Kong ain't got shit on me!"--Training Day
"But this one goes to 11"--Spinal Tap
"I have had it with these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!"--Snakes on a Plane
"Houston, we have problem"--Apollo 13
"If you build it, they will come"--Field of Dreams
"Adriaaaaan!!"--Rocky
"My precious"--Lord of the Rings
"I'm the king of the world"--Titanic
"The price is wrong bitch"--Happy Gilmore
"This. Is. Spartaaaaa!!"--300
"A little guilt goes a long way."--The Machinist
"I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them."--Full Metal Jacket
"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."--Fight Club
"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can."--Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
"I like them French fried potaters."--Sling Blade
"You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and i will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile. Perfection. Let's go to work."--Remember the Titans
"Warriooors. Come out and plaaaay"--Warriors
"I feel the need for speed."--Top Gun
"Aaaallllrighty then"--Ace Ventura
"What do you mean 'you people'"--Tropic Thunder
"Now. Where was I?"--Memento
"Never underestimate the power of denial."--American Beauty
"I know it's pretty baby, but I didn't take it out for air."--Requiem For A Dream
"Why So Serious?"--Dark Knight
"It's not your fault." --Good Will Hunting
"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."--Blow
"Shomer fucking Shabbas!"--The Big Lebowski
"Your mother sucks cocks in Hell."--The Exorcist
"Whoo-ah!"--Scent of a Woman
"Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?"--Speed
"Free your mind, your ass will follow."--Platoon
"Do you like scary movies?"--Scream
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."--Ferris Bueller
"We have an old saying in Delta House: don't get mad, get even."--Animal House
"Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads."--Back to the Future
"I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"--Trainspotting
"You have smoked yourself retarded"--Half Baked
"I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?"--Meet the Parents
"Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The Three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God."--The Boondock Saints
"I have no legs. I have no legs. I have no legs. I have no legs. May God bless you. I have no legs..."--Kids
"Is that my daughter in there?!!"--Mystic River
"That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned."--Unforgiven
"I'm a golden god!"--Almost Famous
"If you're gonna spew, spew into this."--Wayne's World
"One time at band camp..."--American Pie
"America. Fuck yea!"--Team America: World Police
"Look what ya did ya little jerk!"--Home Alone
"Funny like how?"--Goodfellas
"I promise, that one day, everything's going to be better for you."--Donnie Darko
"There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."--American Psycho
"Walk down the right back alley in Sin City, and you can find anything."--Sin City
"Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time."--American History X
"Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than anywhere else on the face of the earth?"--My Cousin Vinny
"Just remember, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and I know the sour."--Vanilla Sky
" I am finished doing what I swore an oath to God 28 years ago to never do again. I've created, "something that kills people." And in that purpose, I was a success. I've done this because, philosophically, I am sympathetic to your aim. I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut. "-Kill Bill

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The 50 Greatest Movie Characters

Written by Ben Pogany

Here are the 50 most well-crafted, intriguing, mesmerizing, or just plain bad-ass characters of the past 50 years.

Vito Corleone- The Godfather
The Joker- The Dark Knight
Hannibal Lector- Silence of the Lambs
James Bond- Goldfinger
Anton Chigurh- No Country for Old Men
Jules Winnfield- Pulp Fiction
Tyler Durden- Fight Club
John Doe- Se7en
Gollum- Lord of the Rings
Red Redding- Shawshank Redemption
Wooderson- Dazed and Confused
Luke- Cool Hand Luke
The Dude- The Big Lebowski
Oscar Schindler- Schindler's List
Darth Vader- Star Wars
Forest Gump- Forest Gump
Daniel Plainview- There Will Be Blood
Indiana Jones- Raiders of the Lost Ark
Tony Montana- Scarface
Marty McFly- Back to the Future
Travis Bickle- Taxi Driver
Han Solo- Star Wars
Costello- The Departed
The Man With No Name- The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
John McClain- Die Hard
The Terminator- The Terminator
Michael Corleone- The Godfather
Harry Callahan- Dirty Harry
Michael- The Deer Hunter
Derek Vinyard- American History X
William 'Bill' Munny- Unforgiven
Edward Scissorhands- Edward Scissorhands
Patrick Bateman- American Psycho
Ron Burgundy- Anchorman
RP McMurphy- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Detective Alonzo Harris- Training Day
Butch Cassidy- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Jack Torrence- The Shining
Mr. Blonde- Reservoir Dogs
Austin Powers- Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Lil Dice- City of God
Ferris Bueller- Ferris Bueller's Day Off
William Wallace- Braveheart
Bill 'The Butcher' Cutting- Gangs of New York
Malcolm X- Malcolm X
Sgt. Elias Grodin- Platoon
Derek Zoolander- Zoolander
Napoleon Dynamite- Napoleon Dynamite
Carl Spackler- Caddyshack
Bluto-Animal House

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The 50 Greatest Movie Franchises (Trilogies and Beyond)

Written by Ben Pogany

James Bond --22 films by 6 Bonds with no end in sight.
Star Wars
Lord of the Rings
The Godfather
Indiana Jones
Rocky--The series that taught roman numerals to a generation.
Harry Potter -- Highest grossing series of all time at $5.4 billion.
Terminator
The Clint Eastwood Dollars Trilogy--The third installment of "The Man With No Name," The Good, the Bad and the Ugly might be the greatest western ever made.
Die Hard
The Bourne Trilogy--An untitled fourth film is in the works. My vote: The Bourne Illtrocity
The Hannibal Lector Movies
Matrix
Spiderman--$2.5 billion grossed so far with #4 slated for 2011 and a Venom spinoff in 2012.
Batman (The Shumacher-Keaton Series)
Superman
X-Men --5 more films have all been given the greenlight, including Deadpool and Magneto spin-offs.
Star Trek--The JJ Abrams installment (11th overall) was a huge success, and 2 more are in the works.
Alien
Back to the Future
Lethal Weapon
Shrek--$2.1 billion grossed with 3 more in the works.
Pirates of the Carribean--One decent movie and two stinkers. Still, you can't argue with $2.7 billion grossed.
Dirty Harry
Cheech and Chong
Naked Gun--OJ's second greatest acting job.
National Lampoon's Vacation
Austin Powers
Friday the 13th-- 12 films and counting...
Beverly Hills Cop
Jurassic Park
Nightmare on Elm St
Halloween-- 10 films and counting...
Ocean's Trilogy--The modern day rat-pack earned over a billion on this trio.
Scream
Saw
Jaws
Mad Max
Robocop
Karate Kid
The Exorcist
Major League--Would be much higher if not for the putrid Back to the Minors installment.
Rush Hour--Rush Hour 4 sounds like a go.
Child's Play --A "darker and scarier" remake of the original 1988 Child's Play is supposed to be in the works.
Blade
The Mummy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles--Another TMNT is reported to be likely.
Poltergeist
Mighty Ducks
Rambo